During the development of this project I got some pretty major feedback that significantly changed my approach
We held a class critique for this project. Whilst I wasn’t able to show a finished product I got to show the core game cycle. That being a citizen proposing a detrimental change and the user challenging them on this.
I actually got some really constructive feedback. When presenting my project it became quite apparent that it was too long, like way too long. Not only was it too long but the dialogue I had used was too complex for my target audience. This was a massive oversight on my end.
Whilst the feedback was all constructive and relevant it did feel like a major set back. With it being too long I had to rethink the entire structure and writing of my story.
My main hurdle now is to figure out how to best restructure my story. I aimed to include all of the targets for my chosen SDG but since it is too long this might be the best place to cut some weight.
My approach to these targets was to look at them one by one. An area to consider would be if these targets could be addressed all at once. This would mean that all targets are addressed and the length of the story is dramatically shorter.
With these changes in mind I drafted up a revised story structure. Here is how it looks.
Old Structure
Revised Structure
I really found it difficult to come up with an effective restructure here but I think this revised structure is a good plan to proceed with. It tackles what didn’t work initially whilst keeping the important aspects of the story.